01 Drop02 Read03 Plan

Free · no account · takes about six minutes

You are guessing,
and calling it judgement.

Bring the deal you cannot read. Keenan tells you what is actually going on in it, and what to do next. You leave with two cards you can send to anyone.

Nothing is stored unless you ask us to Names and numbers stripped before Keenan sees it Two cards out, yours to keep

Level 1 · The email

Paste the email.

The one you actually sent, not a tidied-up version. He reads what the buyer read.

Your email
0 words

Company names, people and figures are stripped before it reaches him. He grades what you wrote, never who you wrote it to.

Keenan is reading it

Card 1 of 2

Your Read.

What is actually going on. Yours to send.

The Read

She was never going to reply, and it was not the subject line.

41
out of 100
You wrote three sentences about yourself and one about her, then asked for twenty minutes you had not earned. The email is not badly written. It is about the wrong person. Sits in the bottom 31% of the 8,400 cold emails I have read.
Where it stands
Where she stopped reading

Attention modelled on how buyers actually read cold email: hard drop at the first sentence about you, and it does not recover. She never reached the ask.

The line that lost it
"We help 3PLs cut pick errors and get more out of the same warehouse footprint, and we work with a lot of operators at your size."

That is a sentence about your product and your customer list. She has no reason to care about either yet. Everything after it reads as a pitch, so the ask at the bottom lands on someone who has already stopped.

What you got right

You did the homework. Opening on Rotterdam and four sites is a real, checkable fact about her world. Most people open with a compliment or a stat. Nine words in, you had earned the second sentence.

What is not there

A problem she would recognise. Nowhere does the email say what is going wrong for her. Pick errors are your category, not her complaint. Without that, there is nothing for her to agree with, so there is nothing to reply to.

If you send the next one the same way

You will keep getting the reply rate you are getting, and you will read it as a list problem. It is not a list problem. Halvard is a good account, she is the right person, and the fifth site she mentioned is the opening you already found and walked past.

Read by Keenan

Working out the plan

Card 2 of 2

Your Plan.

What to do next, in order.

The Plan

Write the second one about the fifth site.

01 Lead with the thing she is already dealing with She is signing for a fifth site while the fourth is behind. Open there. One sentence, no product, no company name.
02 Cut the sentence about operators your size It is the line that lost it. Nothing replaces it. The email is stronger three sentences shorter.
03 Ask a question instead of a meeting A question she can answer in one line gets a reply. Twenty minutes gets ignored. The meeting comes from the reply.
If you only do one
Delete the sentence about operators your size, and send it again.
Plan by Keenan
Keenan

This was one email

I can read the whole deal.

Every email, every call, every deal you are stuck on, and I remember all of it. Bring me the next one and I will already know what happened in this one.

  • CallsPaste a transcript or connect Gong
  • DealsWhere it really stands, and who is blocking
  • MemoryEvery read builds on the last

Free forever, no card. Your two cards stay yours either way.