“Page one prices the platform before it restates what the problem costs. Swap them.”
7 jobs reps bring under draft review
Held in your own method, on your own scorecardGet a second read before you hit send.
Paste the email, the proposal, the doc. Your coach tells you where it loses the buyer and exactly what to change.
The proposal, read back. The cost of the problem restated before the price.
Specimen data. Every name, date and number in the card is made up to show the shape.
Platform licence, 24 seats, annual: from the first page, before anything else.
Tomas, on 4 September you put the Friday re-keying at three people and most of a day, every week. Roughly one salary a year, in your words.
The single order record removes the second keying. The two sites you open in March go onto the same record.
Investment follows, against that number.
Swap page one. The CFO reads this without you in the room. She needs the cost before the price, in Tomas’s words.7 things reps bring under draft review.
Review and improve sales collateral is the quickest use case to get value from, because you already have the draft. It is also one of the highest-volume jobs on the entire platform: reviewing or improving an existing email draft is among the most common things reps bring to a coach. You paste an email, a proposal, a sales document, or a deck, and your coach reads it the way the buyer will, which is rarely the way you hoped it would read. Back comes where the framing is feature-led, where the message loses its thread, where the next step is vague or missing, and where the buyer's problem is absent, with what to change and why, line by line where it matters. The coaching is in the why: read enough reviews and you start catching the same problems before you send, which is the point.
01Review and improve an email draftLine-by-line: what lands, what to cut, what to lead with.+
This is the highest-volume job in the use case, and across the whole platform. You paste the email and your coach reads it as the buyer will, in ten seconds, on a phone, between meetings, then points to the line that opens on you and your company when it should open on the buyer's problem, the paragraph that pitches features no one asked for, the wall of text that should be three sentences, the closing ask that is either vague ('let me know your thoughts') or too big ('30 minutes this week'). You are told what to cut, what to lead with, and why each change matters, so the next email you write yourself starts better. The result is a shorter, sharper email that opens on the buyer's world and asks for one clear, small thing.
02Adapt a message for a specific buyerRe-shape one message for a different persona or vertical.+
A message that worked for one buyer rarely transfers cleanly to another role or industry: the same email to a CFO and a Head of Ops should not say the same thing. Your coach helps you adapt it properly: which problem framing to swap because the new persona feels a different pain, which proof point will land and which will fall flat, which metrics that buyer's world counts in, which language to drop because it belongs to the old vertical. Done well, the message reads as if it were written for this buyer from scratch, because the problem, the proof, and the vocabulary have all been re-shaped to their situation.
03Review a sales documentA second read on anything going in front of the buyer.+
Any document the buyer will see, a one-pager, a follow-up summary, a meeting recap, a deck outline, a mutual action plan, benefits from a read before it ships, because unlike a conversation it has to work without you narrating it. Your coach checks whether it leads with the buyer's problem or your product, whether the structure carries a reader who skims, whether the value is tied to a quantified impact or merely asserted, and whether the next step is unmistakable or buried, and flags the section a busy buyer will skip and the claim they will not believe. The document then holds up when it is forwarded to someone who was never in the room.
04Review and improve a proposalTighten the proposal so it sells when you are not in the room.+
A proposal gets read by people you never met, in a room you are not in, so it has to carry the case alone. Your coach checks that the proposal restates the quantified problem and the cost of inaction before it gets anywhere near the price, so the number lands as a comparison, that the value is framed as a business outcome, that the scope and timeline are clear enough not to invite a procurement question, and that there is nothing an unseen stakeholder, the CFO, the security lead, can push back on unanswered. Get this right and the proposal defends its own price and survives the room you are not in.
05Review an outbound email templatePressure-test a reusable cold or follow-up template before it goes into a sequence.+
A template is the next two hundred emails, so a weak line in it costs more than a weak line in a one-off. Your coach reviews the template as a pattern: does the opener name a problem or your company, is there a variable that should be doing more work, does the close ask for one small thing or a 30-minute meeting from a stranger, and flags the lines that will read as automation at scale. What you end up with is a template you can run across a vertical with confidence, because the structure itself has been coached.
06Review a LinkedIn outreach sequenceCheck a connect-and-message sequence reads as a person.+
A LinkedIn sequence fails the way most automation fails: a connection request followed instantly by a pitch that could have gone to anyone. Your coach reviews the sequence touch by touch: whether the opener references something real, whether each follow-up adds a new reason to reply or repeats the ask, whether the register suits the platform, and flags the message where the buyer realises they are in a sequence. Done well, the sequence reads as written by a person who did their homework, so it earns a reply.
07Review a meeting recap or action planCheck the recap captures what was decided.+
A recap or mutual action plan is the deal's memory between calls, and a vague one lets the deal drift. Your coach checks that the recap names what the buyer agreed, that the next step has an owner and a date, and that the quantified problem is restated so the document still makes the case if it gets forwarded, and flags the soft phrasing that turns a commitment back into a conversation. The recap then holds the deal to what was decided and reads clearly to a stakeholder who was not on the call.
What can I paste in for review?
Any sales collateral: a cold or follow-up email, a proposal, a one-pager, a recap, a deck outline. Your coach reads it the way the buyer will and tells you specifically where it loses them and what to change.
Will the coach just rewrite it, or explain what is wrong?
Both, but the explanation is the point. You are told why a line fails as well as what to replace it with, so you start catching the same problems in your own drafts before you send. If you only take the rewrite, you have an editing tool; if you read the why, you improve.
How is this different from sharpening messaging?
Sharpening messaging builds the positioning from scratch: the problem, the impact, the value case. Review starts from a draft you already have and tells you where it goes wrong. Same principles, but review is the faster job because the material exists.
Can the coach adapt one message for several different buyers?
Yes. Adapting a message for a specific persona or vertical is a core job here. Your coach re-shapes the problem framing and proof points for each buyer, which goes well past swapping the job title.
Is reviewing a proposal worthwhile if I will present it in person?
Yes, because a proposal is read by stakeholders who were not in your presentation. Your coach checks that it carries the quantified problem and the value case on its own, so it holds up in the rooms you are not in.
Dan Pink made the case in To Sell Is Human: selling stopped being a department a long time ago, and almost everyone now does it. Whenever you are trying to move someone (a buyer, a hire, a partner, a reader), you are selling, and the same problem-first instinct applies. So the draft you bring does not have to be a cold email or a proposal. It can be a job ad, a landing page, an investor note, a launch announcement, a difficult message to a customer.
Your coach reads any draft the same way: where it opens on the writer and loses the reader, where a claim is asserted without being earned, where the next step is unclear. If the thing you are writing has to land with another person, it is worth a second read.
Bring the proposal before it ships. Your coach reads it as the CFO will.
Bring us a live deal and the draft that has to carry it. Ask us about holding every draft to your team’s standard.
